AT 18 a lady is like a football,
22 men behind her,
at 28 a basketball,
10 men behind her,
at 38 a golf ball,
1 man behind her,
at 48 a TT ball,
1 man pushing her to the other
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
UNIVERSAL TRUTH :
When girls wear tight fittings,
Neither they are
Comfortable
Nor
Boys are comfortable. !!
When girls wear tight fittings,
Neither they are
Comfortable
Nor
Boys are comfortable. !!
The reason why most of the men prefer to KISS womens lips..
.
.
.
.
Thats the best probably the only way to shut a womans mouth for at least some seconds:)
.
.
.
.
Thats the best probably the only way to shut a womans mouth for at least some seconds:)
A girl boy were sitting alone,
that boy started touching de girl,
Girl : dont touch me, all this only after marriage.
Boy : ok call me when u r married
that boy started touching de girl,
Girl : dont touch me, all this only after marriage.
Boy : ok call me when u r married
A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her
husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answers: 'Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?'
The husband laughs and says: 'An Italian girl!!!'
The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks:
'So, honey, how was the trip?'
'Very good , thank you.'
'And, what happened to my present?'
'Which present?' She asked.
'The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!'
'Oh, that' she said 'Well, I did what I could; now we'll have to wait for a few months to see if it is a girl!!!'
husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answers: 'Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?'
The husband laughs and says: 'An Italian girl!!!'
The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks:
'So, honey, how was the trip?'
'Very good , thank you.'
'And, what happened to my present?'
'Which present?' She asked.
'The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!'
'Oh, that' she said 'Well, I did what I could; now we'll have to wait for a few months to see if it is a girl!!!'
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa."
The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.
The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma."
The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.
Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy."
Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found the milkman dead on our porch this morning!"
The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.
The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma."
The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.
Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy."
Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found the milkman dead on our porch this morning!"
Saturday, February 28, 2009
A man with no arms or legs is sunbathing on the beach.
He is approached by three beautiful young women who take pity on him. The first says to him, ‘Have you ever been hugged?’ The man shakes his head, and she leans down and gives him a big hug.
The second says to him, ‘Have you ever been kissed?’ He shakes his head. She kisses him.
Rather abruptly, the third girl asks, ‘Have you ever been fucked?’ ‘No,’ says the man, his eyes lighting up.
‘Well, you are now. The tide’s coming in.’
He is approached by three beautiful young women who take pity on him. The first says to him, ‘Have you ever been hugged?’ The man shakes his head, and she leans down and gives him a big hug.
The second says to him, ‘Have you ever been kissed?’ He shakes his head. She kisses him.
Rather abruptly, the third girl asks, ‘Have you ever been fucked?’ ‘No,’ says the man, his eyes lighting up.
‘Well, you are now. The tide’s coming in.’
Friday, February 13, 2009
One day God came down and said to three guys that the less you cheat on your wives the better the cars you'll get in heaven. So the first guy went to heaven after cheating on his wife 67 times and he got a Mercedes. The second guy went to heaven and had cheated on his wife 2 times and he got a Ferrari, then the third guy went to heaven and said that he had never cheated on his wife and he got a Bentley. Then one day the third guy was all sad and depressed and the first and second guys asked him what was wrong and the third guy said, "I saw my wife the other day" and the first guy said "yeah, so" and the third guy said " she was riding a skateboard"
Monday, February 9, 2009
A small song dedicated to Mr. Raju (Satyam)
Sing to the tune of My name is Anthony Gonsalves from Amar Akbar Anthony
My name is Ramalinga Raju
main Satyam ka Lootera (Thief) hoon
Khaate (Accounts) hai khaali, Balance sheets jaali (fake)
satyam employees ki bhi watt laga daali
jisko bhi yaad aaye, mujhe milne chala aaye
jisko bhi yaad aaye, mujhe milne chala aaye
Hyderabad police chowki, jholi(ssorry. ..kholi) number 420
ACCUSE ME PLEASE
abhi abhi jail ke andar ek company kholi hai, aji kholi hai,
haan haan kholi hai
investors ne bhi lagayi bad chad kar boli hai, haan boli hai,
haan haan boli hai
jailor bhi raazi, qaidi bhi raazi
Jab tak chalegi yeh jaalsaazi
jisko bhi yaad aaye, milke marne chala aaye
jisko bhi yaad aaye, milke marne chala aaye
Hyderabad police chowki, jholi (ssorry...kholi) number 420
ACCUSE ME PLEASE
Sing to the tune of My name is Anthony Gonsalves from Amar Akbar Anthony
My name is Ramalinga Raju
main Satyam ka Lootera (Thief) hoon
Khaate (Accounts) hai khaali, Balance sheets jaali (fake)
satyam employees ki bhi watt laga daali
jisko bhi yaad aaye, mujhe milne chala aaye
jisko bhi yaad aaye, mujhe milne chala aaye
Hyderabad police chowki, jholi(ssorry. ..kholi) number 420
ACCUSE ME PLEASE
abhi abhi jail ke andar ek company kholi hai, aji kholi hai,
haan haan kholi hai
investors ne bhi lagayi bad chad kar boli hai, haan boli hai,
haan haan boli hai
jailor bhi raazi, qaidi bhi raazi
Jab tak chalegi yeh jaalsaazi
jisko bhi yaad aaye, milke marne chala aaye
jisko bhi yaad aaye, milke marne chala aaye
Hyderabad police chowki, jholi (ssorry...kholi) number 420
ACCUSE ME PLEASE
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
A 90-year old man went to the doctor's and asked for a sperm count.
"It can't be very high," the doctor said. "There's really no need for it."
But the old man still wanted it all the same.
"All right then," the doctor said. She went to her cabinet, got out a small container, and gave it to the man. "Take this jar home, do a little jobby in the jar, and bring it back here."
A week later, the doctor was coming out of her office when she found the old man and his wife sitting in the waiting room. They handed her the jar.
"But the jar is empty," she said after looking at it.
"I told you that you had to do a little jobby in the jar in order for me to get the sperm count."
"Doc," the man began. "I tried it with my right hand, I tried it with my left hand. My wife tried it with her right hand, and tried it with her left hand. She even tried it with her teeth out. But that damn lid just wouldn't come off!!!"
"It can't be very high," the doctor said. "There's really no need for it."
But the old man still wanted it all the same.
"All right then," the doctor said. She went to her cabinet, got out a small container, and gave it to the man. "Take this jar home, do a little jobby in the jar, and bring it back here."
A week later, the doctor was coming out of her office when she found the old man and his wife sitting in the waiting room. They handed her the jar.
"But the jar is empty," she said after looking at it.
"I told you that you had to do a little jobby in the jar in order for me to get the sperm count."
"Doc," the man began. "I tried it with my right hand, I tried it with my left hand. My wife tried it with her right hand, and tried it with her left hand. She even tried it with her teeth out. But that damn lid just wouldn't come off!!!"
Friday, November 21, 2008
A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?"
"My mother died in June," he said, "and left me $10,000."
"Gee, that's tough," he replied.
"Then in July," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $50,000."
"Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed."
"And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000."
"Three close family members lost in three months? How sad."
"Then this month," continued, the friend, "nothing!"
"My mother died in June," he said, "and left me $10,000."
"Gee, that's tough," he replied.
"Then in July," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $50,000."
"Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed."
"And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000."
"Three close family members lost in three months? How sad."
"Then this month," continued, the friend, "nothing!"
There were 3 guys that wanted to marry the same girl so they all had a 24hr contest to see who could bring back the most ping pong balls. the first guy came back in the first hour with 1 truck load. the second came back with 2 truck loads. The 3rd guy did not come back until the 23rd hour, and when he did he was bloody and only had one sac of ping pong balls.
So they asked him why are you all bloody and why did it take you so long to get 1 sac of ping pong balls?
He replied PING PONG BALLS?! But I thought you said KING KONG'S BALLS?!
So they asked him why are you all bloody and why did it take you so long to get 1 sac of ping pong balls?
He replied PING PONG BALLS?! But I thought you said KING KONG'S BALLS?!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)